Getting the Most Out of Accountability Partnership Meetings

Should meeting be face to face or via conference calls?

While face to face conversation is certainly beneficial to the relationship, many rewarding partnerships are built solely on phone calls and emails. And in today’s global marketplace, virtual communication may be the only viable option for some partners.

 

The most important thing is to choose logistics that support the partnership rather than complicate it. If you’re meeting virtually, establish norms that keep you focused on the conversation so that you’re less inclined to ‘multi-task’ while the other person is talking (see side-bar).

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What does the typical meeting look like between accountability partners?

• Use a calendar tool such as Microsoft Outlook to schedule the recurring meetings. Include the logistics (room number or conference call number) in the calendar notification to make it easy to access the meetings. Many accountability partners believe that the key to making the meetings a priority is to have them at the same time on the same day of the week.
   
• Develop an agenda prior to each meeting. Each partner should email a short list of items that they want to address during the meeting such as brainstorming solutions to a nagging financial problem or strategizing activities for attracting new clients. Also included should be a status update on previous action items. Finally, both should identify those action items that will be addressed prior to the next meeting. Partners can take turns formalizing the agenda or use a meeting template to make it easy to record agenda items.
   
• Begin the meeting with a quick attitude check-in. This means honestly framing your state of mind so that your partner understands where your head and heart are at during the meeting. This strategy will help you and your partner decide the best course of dialogue and action during the meeting. While your role is to help each other be accountable to individual goals and commitments, understanding each other’s mood and attitude will help you be more responsive, empathetic, and effective. 
   
• Be explicit about what you need from your partner during the meeting. Accountability partnering can be either directive or nondirective. Directive partnering involves listening to your partner and then offering advice from your own experiences or knowledge base. Nondirective partnering is about listening to your partner’s challenges or opportunities in achieving results, and then, instead of offering advice, asking questions that encourage your partner to reach solutions independently. The questions you ask should stem from your own curiosity and desire to understand or explore the problem. The purpose of asking thoughtful questions is to help your partner achieve greater self-awareness around what it will take to be successful – and not to lead your partner to your way of thinking. Both forms of partnering can be effective; the preferred type depends on what your partner needs at the time. Choose your partnering approach and be explicit about what you prefer (think: need versus want).
   
• If you’re using an agenda, follow it and try to limit tangents. Ensure the meeting allows time for each partner to be heard; it may be helpful to split the meeting time in half and use a timer as a reminder.

• Practice effective communication strategies. These include active listening, balancing advocacy and inquiry, and managing self-biases and mental models.
   
• Speak from your own experience. Share successes and failures, mistakes and triumphs, challenges and opportunities as you explore your own goals and the goals of your partner.
   
• Decide if there will be consequences for missed commitments or rewards for achieved commitments. Rewards can be as simple as a small token of recognition from one partner to the other, or as elaborate as a celebration party once a major goal is achieved. Consequences can run the gamut too. Sometimes the most effective consequence is just having to admit failure to complete an action - without using an excuse. Each partner should determine what’s appropriate for their situation, as one size does not fit all.
   
• Don’t dwell on the past or criticize your partner about missed commitments. Use the concept of feed-forward, which means reflecting on learning to change future behavior, as a way to encourage and motivate your partner to achieve their commitments.
   
• Protect your partner’s privacy and activities. You’ll be privy to each other’s fears and failures. While it might be tempting to use that knowledge to further your own position or get some leverage in a competitive organization, ultimately it’s a self-defeating strategy. Keep checking your intentions and resist the drive to put yourself first.
   
• Be prepared to learn and to grow. When you’re helping your partner address something that’s baffling him/her, you’re likely to learn something about yourself and your approach if you remain open and agreeable. Being an accountability partner is not about having the right answers or telling your partner what to do; it’s about helping them stay on track with their commitments when they follow their own path.